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A to Z Weddings: After the Big Day - Beat the Post Wedding Blues
Tips & Advice
from our professionals:
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Where do I start?
Hiring Your Vendors
The Ceremony
The Reception
After the Big Day
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You’ve dreamed your whole life of your special wedding day, and now it has come to an end. Brides and grooms often get so caught up in the one big day that when it's over and they no longer have wedding-planning details to occupy their days and minds with, they feel empty. It is also not uncommon for brides and grooms who are busy with wedding planning to inadvertently take their focus off what really matters: building a future with their partner. Then, once the wedding is over, the concept of being married and the work involved in building a strong relationship takes centre stage; and that can be rather scary.
Post-wedding blues affect brides in different ways, from feeling sad and let down to bursting into tears on their honeymoon. Others feel bored and not sure what to do with their time. Post-wedding blues for the bride and/or groom start when you cannot regain your energy or have no interest in anything else. Your wedding day will be one of the most exciting days of your life, but it won’t be the only happy occasion to which to look forward, and this is what you need to focus on.
Post-wedding blues are perfectly normal and a lot of brides and grooms complain about them, so don’t be hard on yourself. You will overcome it, just give it time. You may be finding that it's hard to shift your focus so fast. Don't worry, you don't have to. Instead of charging full steam ahead into your future, ease into this new adventure.
Set aside time in your day to write thank-you notes for wedding gifts and look at pictures from the big day. Allow yourself conversations with family members and friends about how well things went. And slowly integrate new interests into your life, or bring back old hobbies you may have given up during your engagement when you were so busy. If you moved after the wedding, now is the time to start focusing on decorating your new home – an exciting undertaking. You can also concentrate on investing your wedding money, and don't forget to make plans with friends you didn't have time to see during your busy bridal days. This way you'll be able to wean yourself away from having the wedding be the focal point of your day-to-day life without feeling as if you've gone cold turkey.
Even if you don’t have much money, treat yourself to little things now and then. If you can’t afford a restaurant in Buffalo and Western New York, have take-out on a Friday night after a week at work. Or cook a special meal, maybe something to remind you of your honeymoon. Have a hot, oiled bath by candlelight or ask your husband for a backrub if you can’t afford or don’t wish to use a professional, and treat him to one in return.
For some of you, the major change will be living with your new husband. It may sound stupid, but take the time to get to know your husband. When was the last time you remember talking to him about non-wedding related stuff? Enjoy evenings in, with no wedding talk. Discuss what’s happening in your lives right now as well as making plans for the future. Make a policy of having ‘special time’ where you go out for a meal or have a really good meal at home, complete with candles on the table and all the romantic trimmings of dining out without the expense. You will both be tired after a long week, but you got married because you love each other, and, with post-wedding blues affecting the pair of you, you need to be reminded of the pre-wedding joys of dating.
The most important thing to remember is that post-wedding blues do not last forever. Not all brides and/or grooms will get it, but of those that do feel low, many of them were not expecting to feel so weepy after such an exciting event.
Just remember: you have the rest of your lives ahead of you to have fun so start planning your next holiday, or dinner out, or social gathering.
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